Never Tell a Lie

The nature of being an English teacher in a foreign country is that you inevitably encounter some crazy, hysterical English. I tend to sway back in forth in my approach to this reality when it comes to my own students, at times finding it amusing to know end, at others being frustrated by the fact that in most cases it shows how little a particular student has studied. At times there are particular items on tests that seem to evoke hilarious answers, and those are generally fun as the teachers of that course beat a path to each other's office to show the latest, craziest answer.

Today was a bit of a new experience. The answer I am showcasing here is actually a perfect use of English; it's the context that makes it priceless, to me at least. Remember, I made a very long post about how much I love mechanical pencils just a few days ago.

The students have to memorize all sorts of difficult vocabulary, and one of the ways we test it is to give them the Japanese word, and they have to write it in English. Since native English speakers would have hard time spelling some of these words, we give them the number of spaces needed to spell the word (which you may or may not be able to see depending on the size of your monitor). And so, I got this awesome answer today:


Sweet. I nearly gave the guy points on principle alone.

Today was full of cool weird English/Japanese miscommunication. One guy came to my office to take a test that he missed earlier in the week. He claims to have been hit by a car while riding his bicycle, and for some reason I believe him, even though he shows none of the telltale signs of being hit by a car.

So he's in my office, writing away like a maniac, periodically grasping his hand and saying 'itai' (ouch), for about an hour. Finally he finished, and says 'I'm so happy.' Naturally, I say 'Because you finished the test?' He continues, 'Because the Colorado Rockies won the baseball game.' For those of you who don't obsess about baseball, the Rockies have a bit of a standing here because the lesser Matsui is on that team. The Rockies, by the way, have won nearly every game they've played for the last 2+ weeks.

So we talked baseball for a minute or two, all the while this guy is suspiciously acting as though he's going to take the test he just took home with him, folding it up among his books and (of course) his pencil case. So finally I reach out for him to give me the test, and what does he do? Shakes my hand. Ha!

I cracked up, he was a bit embarrassed, and it was a nice way to end a Friday in week that began with me about to flip my lid, evolved into me mellowing out and having a birthday, and sitting here drinking 'winter' beer in October. Gotta love Japan sometimes.

I went to the gym tonight, laid down on the stretch matts to limber up, started watching the rugby world cup on the big TV there, and eventually decided I didn't much feel like exercising. So I packed it up, came home, broke out a beer and a guitar, and here I sit. Bit of a busy day tomorrow, but the first thing on the agenda is the Red Sox game, which comes on around 9:30 in the morning here. Matsuzaka is pitching, which means it might even be on real TV here! Not to worry though, I've got resources. Good night.